Archive for the ‘Zombies’ Category

This movie is one of a kind and unlike anything you’ve ever seen, but has a little bit of everything. Think Adams Family meets Evil Dead meets Hocus Pocus.

If you’re looking for something off the beaten path, Dellamorte Dellamore is the film for you. Rupert Everett (YES PLEASE) plays Franscesco Dellamorte, the caretaker of a cemetary in a small town in Italy. It’s his job to dig the graves, keep things neat, and shoot zombies when they rise from the dead. No big deal. Franscesco and his assistant Gnaghi live life the same every day, until a strange woman shows up and sweeps Franscesco off his feet. Things don’t go as planned, and Franscesco’s heartbreak makes him so self-absorbed that he can no longer differentiate between life, and death (hence the title, meaning “Of Death, of Love”).

Franscesco is definitely a weirdo. He loses touch with reality and has bizarre fantasies and hallucinations, but as you watch you get sucked into his turmoil. It’s hard to distinguish between reality and fantasy, reflecting his own perceptions.

You get the sense throughout the film that he really wants to leave the town but for some reason he stays there and does the same things, day after day. He and Gnaghi make an interesting pair. Gnaghi reminds me of Uncle Fester. Not only that but while Franscesco is off being a weirdo, Gnaghi falls in love with a little girl, vomits on her, and then digs her head up after she dies. Then they fall in love. Yeah.

You need to watch this. For fans of: nice breasts, zombie boy scouts, messy eaters and human remains.

The Crazies (2010)

Posted: March 4, 2010 in Biological, Zombies

Hey guys! I told you that I wanted some people to do guest reviews in here to mix things up a bit. Here is the first of what I hope is to be several more. Again, I encourage you to contact me if you are interested. My contact info is under my “about me”.

Onto the review:

I came into this movie with good hopes and too an extent i wasn’t let down. The story is pretty much what you would expect it to be if you have seen the preview or if you’ve seen the 1973 original.

The movie starts off with a brief scene of the town Ogden Marsh, Iowa, after the whole ordeal of the movie. The screen fades to black as the title of the movie appears, the film then reopens to the next seen at a the town hospital while it says 2 days earlier.

You see Judy Dutton(Radha Mitchell), the main characters wife, in this scene, as she tells her young coworker Becca (Danielle Panabaker) she can go and enjoy the baseball game her boyfriend will be playing in(even after she caught the young girl in a lie to try and leave work early).


The movie switches scenes to the baseball game. This is the first scene you see the sheriff, David Dutton (Timothy Olyphant) buying some coffee, while casually talking to some towns members. As he goes to enjoy the game with his wife and deputy, Russell Clank (Joe Anderson). The game seems to be going well for opening day, until a townsmen seems to wander in from center-field. Russell points him out to David, as most of the crowd start to notice he is wielding a shotgun. David runs out to try and calm the man.

David originally thinks he is drunk, but as the man doesn’t comply with the sheriff, it eventually ends in the cop shooting him as the shotgun was raised. This starts to weigh heavy on the sheriff’s mind as he asks his wife if what he did was right.

We then find ourselves with the David and Russell talking to the town’s coroner to run a toxicology test on the dead drunk. The family of the drunk soon confronts David telling him what he did was wrong, only to have the widowed wife smack David across the face after he tried justifying what he had done. The toxicology report is later returned to David with negative results which troubles him, because he could see no reason for the man doing what he did.

I don’t really want to go into much detail about all the scenes and ruin the movie for anyone. I will say it’s a worth a watch, nothing amazing and pretty predictable, but if you like movies about infection, some good visual kills (although the movie isn’t extremely gory) and decent acting, i would recommend this movie. The ending is a little unbelievable in my opinion but i’ll leave it for you to decide.

I will also mention this movie has two really awesome scenes, one involving a pitchfork (you may have seen part of this in a preview), then later another scene where someone gets killed by being simultaneously choked and stabbed but not exactly how you’d expect it.

This review was written by Billy Cargo, age 19, Orlando FL.

ZOMBIES ARE PEOPLE TOO!
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After being murdered by her lunatic boyfriend (or should I say EX-boyfriend), Angela finds it difficult to accept her new life being undead. You see, nowadays, when you die, you don’t really die. You become a flesh-hungry zombie. Not a vicious one, mind you. These are intelligent, working class citizens just like everyone else, trying to make a living. Or, un-living? Basically these zombies don’t walk around super slowly and attack anything with brains. They are, however, considered second-class citizens and are segregated from the living.

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As Angela finds ways to adapt to zombie-ism (she even tries a zombie-support group!) her ex- boyfriend finds himself being recruited into an “army” of zombie hating killers, lead by a psycho bitch, The Commandant. Psycho bitch is putting it lightly. The film goes back and forth between Angela and this militia, and converge at several points until the end when there is a final blowout.

I had hope for this film in the beginning. The plot was a breath of fresh air. Yes, zombies are great, but that whole thing gets tiresome…this film took it a step further. What if zombies walked among us? What if they were apart of our every day? This film could have been something really special. Instead it was, well….Crappy.

First, let’s talk about effects. They weren’t bad for a lot budget flick. A LOT of heads got blown off. The intro was a real shocker. I was instantly sucked in by the brutality of it. Unfortunately, that for me was the most exciting part of the film. It was all downhill from there. There was some confusion for me throughout the majority of the film as to how the line was drawn between the living and undead…Everyone knows zombies crave human flesh. For the most part I saw no zombies eating people, until the end. So what the fuck? Why? Why are people not freaking out about zombies walking around, and why aren’t the zombies freaking out and eating people? Doesn’t add up to me.

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Second, the length of this film was unnecessary…1 hour and 58 minutes was far too long for this shitbaggery. I was bored to death after the first hour. This would have been better as a made-for-tv hour-long special of sorts. The score was fucking annoying. The last 58 minutes of music was a constant crescendo and decrescendo, creating this huge buildup and no release. Imagine having a boner for a long time but never being allowed to jerk off.

Thirdly, The Commandant. I was waiting for this cunt to bite it the whole time and I was pissed at how it happened in the end. I really wanted her to suffer.

This whole movie was a disaster. So much potential but not even the smarts to create a little campy humor and use the “low-budget” feel to their advantage. Too laggy, lengthy, and lame.

Sorry, Angela, but this movie was DEAD.

Not a lot of stills available, but here’s the trailor:

Død snø (Dead Snow, 2009)

Posted: July 24, 2009 in Zombies

THIS AINT YOUR GRANDMA’S ZOMBIE MOVIE!!

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A groups of Norwegian medical students take an Easter vacation in the mountains and are hunted down by the spirits of dead Nazi soldiers from WWII…Unfortunately, they aren’t quite dead.

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I HIGHLY enjoyed this movie. A very fresh take on the zombie genre, which has become a tiresome topic for a lot of horror fans lately. There was a plot here, a motivation for the zombies to come back and bust some skulls. They weren’t just mindless re-animations feeding off of living flesh because it was instinct. This great MO opened up a lot of room for some bloody good fight scenes.

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This flick was paced well. The first killing will catch you slightly offguard and probably leave your mouth hanging open (well it did mine). Why does the fat guy always die first? After that, there is no slowing down. The contrast of the blood and snow was gorgeous and provided a great backdrop for some pretty grisly deaths.

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One word…..Intestines.

Several camera shots reminded me a lot of Army of Darkness…you know where he’s making his new metal hand and the rapid shots? Yeah, that. Bad explanation but hopefully you know what I mean.

Through all of the killing and blood, I found the sex scene in the outdoor bathroom to be most disturbing. There is poop in there. What the fuck?

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For fans of internal organs, chainsaws, and Nazis.

Here’s a clip (self-amputation content):

The Signal (2007)

Posted: July 16, 2009 in Anthology, Blood & Guts, Zombies

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This is a three-part film, each “transmission” is directed by three different people. This alone grabbed me right away. The more perspectives, the better.

In this flick, technology freaks out. Cell phones, radios, televisions and the like all begin sending out a mysterious transmission, causing mass psychosis the turns normal people into aggressive killers.

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The first transmission is “Crazy in love”, directed by David Bruckner. It focuses on a young wife named Mya who is torn between her love and her suspicious husband, who is the first to be shown as having this killing disease. From then on, you’re pretty much thrown head-first into a world of murder. A scene that sticks out for me in this first part is a guy in a hallway who snips a girl’s throat with a pair of hedge clippers. You go boy.

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Transmission two, “Jealousy Monster” directed by Jacob Gentry, is a more satirical approach on the situation, and I think this is the better of the three. It delves deeper into the delusions of the diseased and really shows you how fucked up these people are. What I appreciate about this film is that it’s not a zombie film, these people aren’t numbed. They are completely aware of what they are doing, and rational in their own minds. Lots of dark humor, and some guy who just wants some pussy. Hmm.

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Transmission three, “Escape From Terminus” directed by Dan Bush, was probably my least favorite, and the perplexing. At one point a man convinces himself that he can talk to a decapitated head, and that is awesome. Other than that I was confused, which was the point presumably. I felt empty at the conclusion, unsure of what really happened. Either I’m an idiot, or I just had a difficult time keeping up. The jealous husband thinks he’s the lover, the lover thinks he’s the husband, “what did you do with my wife”, “she’s my wife not yours”, blah blah…It was all very messy and I still have no fucking clue what was up with that. So if you can figure it out, hey, cheers to you.

All in all rather entertaining, nice effects. Amazing dialogue, some parts were laugh out loud funny. I can see this pairing well with a bowl of popcorn and some Coca Cola.

A fun quote: “When that ball drops, I’m gonna grab a slut and I’m just gonna pee in her butt!”

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Dance of the Dead (2008)

Posted: April 25, 2009 in Zombies

It’s been awhile.

I heard about D of the D awhile ago so I peeped it on demand last week. Worst movie. Not even zombies could save it.

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Prom is coming up at the high school. The science nerd wants to ask his cheerleader crush, but she wants to go with this rocker douchebag who turns her down. Another dude and his girl break up before the dance and he is bummed. Then she let’s some other dude touch her naughty parts. Then zombies attack, blah blah blah. I don’t even know what to say man, this movie fucking sucked. I’m not even sober but if I was I’d still make just as crappy of a post. Don’t watch. The only sweet part is when the nerd and cheerleader end up making out in a bathroom stall then she bites him and he turns into a zombie then they keep making out and have blood in their mouths and are eating each other’s flesh. Hot.

Later